508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
