I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
