Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
