Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
