we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Your penis caused this!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize