There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I just googled if crying burns calories
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
