He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
