bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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