My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize