Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
