her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
