dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
