She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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