I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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