i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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