oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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