Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
