I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
