i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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