I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
