I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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