sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm bleeding and have questions
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
