It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
