Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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