Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
