I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
