Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
