Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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