So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I will pee on everything he values.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
