My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I supernannyed him into submission
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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