Porn is love you can see.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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