I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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