i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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