Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Randomize
