New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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