whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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