could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
