I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
