Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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