I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
