Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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