so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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