I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize