No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
