Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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