I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
