it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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