Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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