id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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