just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
