Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
worst night to have a conscience
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
