the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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