Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
