I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
