I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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