I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nutella sex= disaster
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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