My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
