is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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