Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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